With A Cherry On Top. It's literally impossible for you to use that word and come off as cool, thoughtful or intelligent...It's kind of like you're classifying yourself into whatever group you're trying to classify someone else in, at the same time. Two for one. There's lots of other good reasons not to say it, but number one: it just sounds so. dumb.
And as long as we're on the topic, here's some other good reasons not to use it:
It's an even more violent version of "retard", which is hurtful enough as it is, thank you very much.
As the son of a woman with Muscular Dystrophy, I learned how the r-word is used in violent, hurtful ways, even though it never even made any sense to me whatsoever...and it will never be funny to me.
...I'm sorry, but it's really not about you. Yet everyone is just supposed to "understand" what you mean; that it's not supposed to be "taken that way" How about trying to understand the hurt and frustration that word causes on a daily basis? To try to understand the people who are being PUT DOWN and DISREGARDED by the use of that word everyday? Where's the understanding for them? Why should anyone have to work so hard to find fun and humor in words that have been used against them every day of their lives? And how many times do you think that word comes along with the many forms of bullying? With a push or a shove or even a bit of spit? Sounds terrible right? Believe me it gets far worse than that...
Why should someone be forced to live in a world where they are constantly being put down? Because "We don't mean it that way"? These hurtful terms (Retard, Gay, Bitch, Pussy) are being hurled out, either violently or casually (with the same emotional impact) everywhere, every minute of every day. At the time I wrote this, there had been over 1200 uses of the r-word since 12am on twitter alone. It's just after one and Twitter had been down worldwide for at least a couple of hours. What about Face Book? And texts? At the water cooler? Are you kidding me?!! Would you consider it ok to casually make fun of your friend by calling them a spic, chink or nigger? If so, we've got way bigger problems to address (and believe me we definitely do). You may not see those words in the same light, but the have THE EXACT SAME EMOTIONAL IMPACT on people who've experienced those words in hateful, belittling ways.
"In closing" (and from a conversation on the topic I just finished on Face Book), I'm simply asking that you not use language that puts down or demeans anyone. What I'm doing is civilly engaging in dialog about what is offensive to me and millions of other people. You are not a victim here, just someone who didn't understand the effect of their words on the people and world around them. There's billions of you, so it's easier not to see. The majority of people can't see the effects of hate language because they don't have to. Someone with disabilities doesn't have that luxury; they're reminded of that every day.
Thank you for reading and thinking,
PS (edit) - although this may seem condescending at parts or the whole thing or whatever, this is truly how I feel and it comes from a place of LOVE and RESPECT. A Love and Respect that we all deserve. That's the whole point. Peace